Hi all…Basically I attended this Nigerian party a little over a month ago and before I went I was so excited because the last time I attended one was in 2005. However, the perfect night which I had carefully dreamt of was in reality the most dreadful night ever.
1. The moment you enter that party, you get other Nigerian women giving you dirty looks for no apparent reason. At first you feel like maybe you have some bogey stuck up your nose but then you realise that you probably look so hot that it bothers them.
2. Old men eye you up and stare at your behind. Why can’t these married men be satisfied with their wives and children and leave us young babes for the young single men??
3. Bunch of show offs. They want to show off their hair, jewellery money, dance moves. What happened to parties being a place where we could all celebrate together and enjoy each other company? Seems like a petty competition.
4. The older aunties like to send us young ones around like slaves to get them drinks and food. They know how to use those two legs of theirs to shake their butts but can’t use the same legs to get their own food…mtcheeew.
5. Nigerians don’t know how to queue up for the buffet food. They jump in line, push whoever is in the way and makes sure the person serving serves them before anyone else. I swear I could’ve stabbed one of those women with my heels if I wasn’t such a lady.
6. Dress code: paying 30 pounds for the clothes material that probably cost 10/15 pounds…and everyone end up wearing the same uniforms…do I look like I’m in school??
7. Drama!!! Drama!!! Drama!!! This aunty is quarrelling with that aunty because she said this and that about that one even though it was probably not true because another aunty was the one spreading the lies to corrupt the first two aunties friendship and another aunty decides to stab the third aunty in the back and spill the beans when the first two aunties have already cursed themselves to death and sworn never to talk to one another again. Are you confused yet?
8. We are celebrating a child’s birthday and yet it looks like it’s an adult party because all the children have been sent home. Who is the one year old celebrant??…the child or the parents?
9. Make Up…OMG…Am I at a circus?? The drawn eyebrows, the over sized blusher that clearly doesn’t match your skin tone. I know I have had a few make up disaster but per-leeze…have these women heard of a fringin’ mirror? C’mon!!!!!
10. Why is it that 90 per cent of these women are lighter than my teeth? Lay off the bleach please and be happy of the way God created you. It’s so obvious you bleached because your elbow is blacker than my hair…not a good look thanks.
Conclusion: I shall not be going to a Nigerian Party any time soon…it was a disaster and I was so bored I wanted to shoot myself.